Get Out of Your Head and Into the World in 5 Seconds

Years ago, I watched a TED Talk by Mel Robbins, a motivational speaker and author, titled “How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over.” In it, she introduced a simple but powerful idea: we often talk ourselves out of actions because we are hesitant or afraid of what others might think. Imagine you're at a conference, wanting to approach a speaker to share your thoughts on their talk. But instead, you convince yourself that what you have to say is unimportant or even silly. Or perhaps you see an elderly woman struggling with her luggage and, despite feeling the urge to help, you walk by without a word. We hold back not just from seizing opportunities but also from doing the right thing, all because we hesitate.

Robbins proposed a simple method to counteract this overthinking—something she calls the 5-second rule. The concept is straightforward: when you feel the urge to do something, act on it within 5 seconds, or your mind will start to work against you. Think of it as a more practical version of Nike’s "Just Do It." The key is that in those first 5 seconds, your rational, reflective brain hasn’t yet kicked in to second-guess you, while your instinctive, action-oriented brain is ready to go. Imagine how much better our lives could be if we stopped overthinking and simply did what our fundamentally good nature nudges us to do. (If your instincts aren’t well-intentioned, then, by all means, ignore this advice.)

As I thought more about the 5-second rule, I realized how it connects to the practice of gratitude. There have been countless times when I thought something positive about someone—a stranger’s earrings, a person’s athletic build, or a coworker’s fantastic presentation—but stopped myself from saying it out loud. Why? I was worried about sounding weird or assumed the person already knew they were great and didn’t want another compliment.

But here’s the truth: everyone likes to hear good things about themselves. It’s not about vanity or arrogance; deep down, we’re all just like kids, eager to know that what we’re doing on this crazy, spinning rock is actually worthwhile. While it’s wonderful to receive praise, the 5-second rule is about the giver of that gratitude.

When we share what we genuinely think—especially in the moment—it can be incredibly empowering. Expressing gratitude right then and there helps us focus on the positive, allows us to connect with others meaningfully, and most importantly, it feels like the right thing to do. When you feel admiration or thankfulness, say it. Your mindset will shift toward positivity, and so will your outlook on life. I’ve experienced this change firsthand, and it’s remarkable.

So, the next time you feel a nudge to express kindness or appreciation, remember the 5-second rule. Act on it before doubt creeps in. Your words might just make someone's day—and transform your own attitude in the process.